today is one of those days were i struggle with the way i look. i find myself comparing myself to pictures my boyfriend “likes” on stumble upon of these girls with big tits and a small waist. i love him and he always tells me he loves me and the way i look. he always compliments me even though i don’t accept them. he says i look nice, i say i look fat. we argue about this all the time. i need to learn to take a complement, but its hard when for a majority of my life i never received any unless they were from my parents. i look back at pictures of us from when we first started dating and i was like a size 9 and i thought i was fat then…oh what i would do to wake up and be that size again. i wish instead of getting sad and depressed and eating more, i’d get motivated. i don’t know what to do to change that. eating healthy is expensive and i live pay check to pay check so buying a $1 frozen pizza is much more cheaper than spend $20 on making a healthy dinner. and for exercise…well i’m lazy and unmotivated. like i said i just get depressed and want to eat, oh and listen to blink 182, they always make me feel better. why do guys always look at these photos of these “perfect” women. my boyfriend doesn’t look at these pictures of these sickly thin women, they are women with curves and toned bodies…bodies i want. ugh i hate this! maybe once we move out and i’m not stuck living in just one room i’ll change…who knows. i just wanna a wake up, oh about 50 lbs lighter.
-TheRamblingsOfANobody
